Now I realize this might sound a bit over the top, sophomoric and, quite frankly, stupid. Add the fact I was standing in the middle of the ice cream aisle of a crowded Fred Meyer, and it’s even more ridiculous. What can I say? I was very excited. Here’s what else I can say: Mines is a gem through and through. The members of Menomena know how to make every single note and every little sound heard. Fuzz bass dances with piano, horns, guitars, and drums that sound as if your head is stuck inside of the kick (listen to the aforementioned “TAOS”). Arty, but not pretentious, this is a band that makes over-thinking sound fun.

I’ve recently read some reviews of Mines that seem to make it a point to be unnecessarily verbose (guess which?). Of course, “This will punch you right in the dick-hole” isn’t what I’d call a shining example of eloquent wordplay … then again I am a firm believer that when it comes to most things—including music—it’s best not to mince words.

Menomena performs Saturday, Sept. 11 at Crystal Ballroom with Akron Family and Tu Fawning for MFNW. More tour dates here.

“TAOS” - Menomena

“Five Little Rooms” - Menomena

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Black Mountain sounds like rock ‘n’ roll. They obviously look like rock ‘n’ roll. The Canadian five-piece kinda lives it, too, sharing a house with other Vancouver musicians and artists who refer to themselves as the Black Mountain Army. And you thought the KISS Army was badass.

The band is set to release their third full-length Wilderness Heart (out Sept. 14 on Jagjaguwar), which vocalist Stephen McBean told Pitchfork contains some of Black Mountain’s heaviest and folkiest songs to date. It also boasts their best cover art to date (aside from the Black Mountain Army, these cats are also members of Team Shark Week).

“The Hair Song”—whose title slightly nauseates me—is a perfect tune for those who like their rock unapologetically balls-out, a little druggy, and a whole lotta loud. We salute you.

“The Hair Song” - Black Mountain

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1. Eminem - Recovery
2. Kem - Intimacy
3. Ray LaMontagne - God Willin’ & the Creek Don’t Rise
4. Iron Maiden - The Final Frontier
5. Trace Adkins - Cowboy’s Back in Town

Now, that is a motley crue. Upon seeing this, I realize a few things: a) I’m shocked that I am actually familiar with three of the five names, b) I don’t even know who Trace Adkins is, but I’d like to punch him in the face, and c) Wait … is that Iron Maiden?

My relationship with Iron Maiden is a long, bittersweet one. It all goes back to that fateful day I won a Piece of Mind poster at the Sun Country Fair in Red Bluff by popping balloons with some darts … or was it when I shoplifted that Powerslave cassette from Kmart? Either way, I think I was in eighth grade. The poster hung on my wall next to a poster of Van Halen with Diamond Dave sporting those assless chaps, and the tape spent time in my $9.99 Dynatone personal cassette player. Maiden was much heavier than most of the music I listened to. They didn’t sing about chicks. Or partying. They sang about Pharaohs. And flying. I liked it, but not nearly as much as my Out of the Cellar tape.

Iron Maiden continued to be one of those bands I enjoyed, but never fully invested in. My friends in high school raved about Somewhere in Time and Seventh Son of a Seventh Son. I raved about Dancing Undercover and Crazy Nights. I wouldn’t actually ‘t steal buy another Iron Maiden album until 17 years later (fortunately bypassing the horrible non-Bruce Dickinson albums). I was living in Spain, and Maiden was scheduled to perform at Plaza de Toros de Illumbe on June 13, 2003—I was going to this show. To prepare for this event my roommates and I purchased Live After Death, Iron Maiden’s 1985 double live album (and a must-own for any metal fan) on CD and played it non-stop for a month. Then we didn’t go to the show. By the time the 13th came around the semester had ended, we were broke, and we decided that cañas and bocadillos at Juantxo were much more important than Iron Maiden tickets (because they were). I think my roommate Matt Davidson ended up with that Live After Death CD.

My next encounter with Maiden came a year later in the form of a used vinyl copy of The Number of the Beast given to me for my birthday. The cover scared the bejesus out of me when I was a kid … I mean, look at it for chrissakes! Released in 1982, Beast is the first Maiden album to feature the operatic pipes of Bruce Dickinson … yes, the Bruce Dickinson. And it has a great version of “Run to the Hills”!

I’ve since repurchased Live After Death (”Scream for me, Long Beach!”). And I finally saw Iron Maiden in 2005 at Ozzfest. I don’t even remember who else played—but Maiden was fucking great, and Dickinson’s vocals belied his years. It might as well have been 1985. You would think I’d have actually listened to the copy of 2006’s A Matter of Life and Death, given to me by a friend who insisted on its greatness. Yet, I’m looking at the disc as I type this, still wrapped in cellophane. That all changes today. That said, I’ll let you know what I think of the new record The Final Frontier when I get around to listening to it in 2014.

“Run to the Hills” - Iron Maiden (Live After Death)

“El Dorado” - Iron Maiden (The Final Frontier)

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These guapos go straight for the guileless noise of ’80s practitioners Guided By Voices and My Bloody Valentine, right down to releasing their debut EP on cassette (for extra hissy effect).

Made in Minas Jerais, Brazil—and sung in English—Everything Must Go (released on Brazilian label Pug Records) is relentlessly noisy. The vocals might be louder and more fuzzed out than the guitars. The only reprieve you get is on “80 Comes,” a stunner of a strummer that Marco Boscolo of Sentireascoltare describes as “un’inaspettata ballata acustica dal sapore elliotsmithiano.”

You don’t get much better than “elliotsmithiano.” Download the entire EP here.

“More Than Cool” - Top Surprise

“80 Comes” - Top Surprise

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“Yes, it’s real,” I reply. “And it sure is catchy.”

Fun fact: The song’s author, Trade Martin, is a Grammy award-winning producer who scored a Top 40 hit with “That Stranger Used to be My Girl” in 1962.

Likely endorsed by Sarah Palin: