Black Friday

Black Friday Read Between the Lines Contest: Ridiculously unreadable band logo No. 4

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 | musiX | No Comments

Moving along in the Black Friday Read Between the Lines Contest. Again, here’s how it works: Decipher the five gnarly, nasty metal band logos. The person who gets the most correct out of five will receive a classic metal album from the Black Friday Vault. You can view No.’s 1, 2 and 3 below. I’ll post another one on Thursday.

Shoot your answers to mark@thedaysoflore.com. Deadline is midnight (PDT), Thursday, June 25, and the winner will be announced this coming Black Friday.

Ridiculously unreadable band logo No. 4: Not Scandinavian. Un-American. Wears corpse paint. Eats babies.

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Black Friday: Reading between the lines

Friday, June 19th, 2009 | musiX | 3 Comments

Historically in metal, a band’s image is as (if not more) important as the music itself. From the band’s name, to its garb, right down to the logo. Alice Cooper and KISS were better-known for what they looked like than the music they made (more true with the latter). When metal ruled in the late ’70s and the ’80s, it was all about image … until it regressed to absurdity before finally getting smothered by the always-fashionable flannel shirt.

The Me Decade is when the metal logo was truly birthed—a single, defining brand that could be easily seen and recognized on records, posters and, most importantly, T-shirts. Bands like Motörhead and Judas Priest went with classically ornate logos, while the aforementioned KISS chose a simple, very memorable signature lighting-bolt “SS” (turned into backwards “ZZ” when the band toured Germany). It carried over into the ’80s when it was all about the logo—Metallica, Exodus, Slayer, RATT, Anthrax, Dio, Def Leppard, AC/DC—all of which could be found scrawled on notebooks and in bathroom stalls, or crudely written or carved on school desktops … or so I’ve heard.

The tradition carries on today. In metal if you don’t have a tough/menacing logo, you might as well be playing Showtunes. Especially in black metal. In fact, in the world of black metal a band’s logo might be the first, and sometimes only, identifying element. It doesn’t even have to be legible for chrissakes, as bands are seemingly trying to one-up each other in keeping their names a mystery to the world.

So. For this Black Friday, I’ve scoured the bottomless pit of the Interwebs to find the most unruly, tangled, illegible band logos possible. It is your duty to try to decipher them. I’ll post one new logo per day (not including Saturday and Sunday) through Thursday, June 25. Shoot your answers to me at mark@thedaysoflore.com. The person who guesses the most band names correctly out of five will win a classic metal album of my choosing. Yes, this means all five people who both listen to metal and read TDoL have a chance to win a disc. It will, of course, be an incredible metal masterpiece.

Deadline is midnight (PDT), Thursday, June 25, and the winner will be announced next Black Friday. It will take a keen eye. It might also help in some cases to be fluent in Finnish.

Ridiculously unreadable band logo No. 1: This band comes from—you guessed it—Finland. They enjoy long walks in the snow, and their lyrics are as unintelligible as their logo.

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Black Friday: Lego my Ulrich

Friday, June 12th, 2009 | musiX | 1 Comment

Someone with a lot of time on their hands put this vid together of friendly, always-smiling Lego men doing a rendition of Metallica’s “Whiplash.” There are even pyrotechnics. It’s like something I would have done as a kid if I had a camera and patience; except it would have been with KISS … and I probably would never have finished.

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Black Friday: The Chickenfoot that ate Van Halen

Friday, June 5th, 2009 | musiX | 2 Comments

That headline is a play off the old Bill Cosby stand-up routine “The Chicken Heart That Ate New York City” … umm … no one? It’s from the album Wonderfulness. 1966. It’s a giant chicken heart that eats the city … anyone? OK.

Supergroups are a bad idea for the following reasons:

Emerson, Lake & Palmer
The Firm
Audioslave
Oysterhead
Velvet Revolver
A Perfect Circle
Temple of the Dog
Contraband
Damn Yankees
Zwan
Heaven and Hell
Damnocracy/Savage Animal
Tinted Windows

Exceptions:

Mad Season
The Highwaymen
Fantômas
The Traveling Wilburys
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Actually, I’m still not sure about Tinted Windows. I may actually like them … but don’t quote me on that. I repeat, DO NOT quote me on that.

Adding to that longer list is Chickenfoot, a supergroup featuring the Red Rocker Sammy Hagar, former Van Halen/Hagar bassist Michael Anthony, Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith and guitar wunderkind Joe Satriani. How can I convey my thoughts on this summit of super musical minds? Let’s see. Superbad idea. Superbad name. Superbad music. Superbad fans. Superbad album (out today!). Superbad cover art. Superbad, bad, bad.

Bad.

What is it about former Van Halen vocalists that makes them join forces with other well-known axe-slingers? (Diamond Dave went with Steve Vai; Sammy goes Satch). Maybe Gary Cherone will pick up Yngwie Malmsteen … or just go crawling back to Nuno. In other VH news: Rock Band will also release a Van Halen edition. Looks cool, but it features Eddie’s son Wolfgang playing bass with the original lineup instead of Michael Anthony. It is unlikely that I will ever play this game.

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Black Friday: Do NOT Deny the Sun

Friday, May 29th, 2009 | musiX | No Comments

I’m sitting inside a Starbucks, battling writer’s block, people watching, shoveling chocolate-covered espresso beans in my mouth, waiting for inspiration to come walking through the door and … good God of Thunder, it just walked in …

… and by it, I mean he. A heavier-set man—long, curly mane tucked under a red, white and blue bandana. Aside from the Stars and Stripes wrapped tightly around his skull he’s clad head to toe in black, which matches his tresses and sunglasses. He’s wearing a T-shirt with a fluorescent-green logo on the front—”Deny The Sun,” it says. On the back, the words “Gothic Romance.” Oh yeah, this guy’s in a band. A quick Google search reveals that Deny The Sun is, indeed, a band from Erie, Penn., but does not include this gent, who’s now sipping a grande caramel Frappuccino at a window table … still, this is too good to be true.

Deny The Sun has songs like “She Bleeds,” “Sad Song” and their “hit single”—”Night of the Lycan.” They’ve performed at a number of clubs as well as “private parties, and have appeared as special guests at haunted houses during the Halloween season.” Apparently this motley crue has won two, that’s two, RockErie Music Awards for Favorite Metal Band, and their music has been dubbed “Gothic Romance” by its female fans—and according to the band’s MySpace “where the ladies are, the men are sure to follow.” I’m not sure exactly what that means.

Because I have writer’s block, and I’m hopped up on espresso beans, I’ll let the video of Deny The Sun at its first RockErie Awards tell the story. I think these guys are going places.

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Black Friday: Slayer hella likes to sing about Hell and Satan

Friday, April 3rd, 2009 | musiX | No Comments

… And Satan might be the nice guy among all the serial killers and Nazi war criminals that Slayer has sung about over the years. I found this video on one of my favorites MetalSucks. The metal mashup comes via Metal Injection and strings together every reference of “Satan” or “Hell” from Slayer’s studio albums (cover songs not included). Supposedly vocalist Tom Araya screams those unholy words a total of 88 times, not counting repeats. If you like this, check out the Metallica version: 81 mentions of the words “die,” “dying” or “death.” Happy Friday!

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Black Friday: Axl has a bad hair summer?

Friday, March 6th, 2009 | musiX | 2 Comments

Axl Rose announced the possibility of a Guns N’ Roses stadium tour this summer. Stadiums. One question: Can those glued-on cornrows withstand a long, hot summer? I think not.

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