Black Friday

Black Friday: Mëtal is gäy

Friday, January 23rd, 2009 | musiX | No Comments

Metal is still afraid of The Big Bad Evil Gay. In metal, coming out of the closet is akin to losing your luxurious locks … maybe it’s no small coincidence that Rob Halford is both openly gay and openly bald.

Not much has changed since Halford came out more than a decade ago. Metal—a style of music built around “taboos”—is one of the only genres that still keeps its distance from anything gay. Hasn’t metal always been about going against the grain? Disdain for Christian values? Sticking it  … um … to the man?

It’s more an issue with metal fans. I could understand why it wouldn’t be easy being a gay man in a metal band when you realize that 95 percent of the fanbase is made up of white, straight males who are generally pissed off at everyone and use the word “gay” in the Eminem sense. But I still find it funny that Freddie Mercury pranced around testosterone-filled arenas for decades wearing sequined dresses and tight, white shorts. As with Halford and Judas Priest, Queen’s XY-chromosomed fans were either completely oblivious, or in total denial.

Pop, indie rock, even punk have remained relatively open about homosexuality. The Queercore movement started in the ’80s and included bands that either had openly gay members or simply supported sexual diversity. What about metal at that time? The ’80s was the most machismo-laden era of hard rock—ironically, a time when men literally tried to outdo each other in the hair and makeup departments. If you came out of the closet at the height of hair metal you would have been pelted with bottles of Aqua Net.

But maybe the times are a-changin’. A few months ago Gaahl—vocalist for Norwegian black metal band Gorgoroth (Lord of the Rings nerd alert)—went public about his homosexuality: “It doesn’t feel to me as if I’ve outed myself because up until now the whole thing was a non-issue for me. All this evolved very naturally. I feel how I feel and I’ve never made any secret about it.”

As you can see, Gaahl is no Freddie Mercury onstage. Anyway, this could be seen as a giant step, although Gaahl’s announcement has been met with negativity. Gaahl’s close friend Dave DeVero, who encouraged the singer to come out, told Norway’s second largest newspaper that he has received threats from some Gorgoroth fans.

So yes. Metal is the Republican party of music. I think metal fans just need to lighten up … except maybe fans of PINK STËËL.

“Delivering the Goods” - Rob Halford and Skid Row (live)

Gorgoroth live performing “Revelation of Doom”

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Black Friday: Where have all the good times gone?

Friday, January 2nd, 2009 | musiX | No Comments

I am a fan of rock ‘n’ roll excess. Well, intrigued would be more accurate. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be in your 20s and in one of the biggest bands in the world, where anything goes and everything is within reach: women, booze, drugs … red snappers (or mud shark, depending on which version of the Zep tale you believe). Essentially, you could get away with murder (just ask Vince Neil) … or die and come back to life (just ask Nikki Sixx).

This excess, of course, often spilled over like a bottle of Axl’s Dom on to a band’s tour rider—the contract between promoter and band that contains all the specifics and requests, from lighting and sound specs right down to how many bottles of Perrier would be available to the band members … and at which temperature they should be kept.

After a decade of searching, The Smoking Gun finally nabbed the holy grail of tour riders. You know the one I’m talking about … the 53-page rider from Van Halen’s 1982 world tour in which the members famously (infamously?) requested that all brown M&Ms be removed. While it sounds like a sure sign of rock excess, the members of Van Halen insist it was their way of making sure EVERYTHING was being adhered to … miss a little detail like separating out the brown M&Ms, and more important things—like spotlight three not being aimed properly at David Lee Roth—could get overlooked.

Other notable items on the ‘82 rider:
One (1) case Budweiser beer (12 ounce cans)
Four (4) cases Schlitz Malt Liquor (16 ounce cans)
Three (3) fifths Jack Daniels Black Label bourbon
Two (2) fifths Stolychnia vodka
One (1) pint Southern Comfort
Two (2) bottles Blue Nun white wine
Herring in sour cream
One (1) tube KY Jelly

Mmm. The band’s rider was much tamer for the recent reunion tour. NO KY. No alcohol, save for Eddie Van Halen’s onstage cooler, which includes only “four (4) mini bottles of Gallo Twin Valley Cabernet Sauvignon (red & white label, red cap).” Apparently all the alcohol has been replaced with Red Bull—Mr. Roth will take 15 cans in his dressing room and six more onstage, please.

Dressing rooms are separate as well in 2008, with Diamond Dave’s to be located “as far away” from the others as possible (guess the reunion doesn’t necessarily mean their pals again). Oh yeah, “Mr. Roth practices martial arts in his dressing room, and in order to do this there can be no rugs or carpeting of any sort.” Now, if The Smoking Gun could get a hold of a Van Halen rider from 1998 so we could see what Gary Cherone demanded in his dressing room …

Another rocker’s rider surprised me. Ted Nugent. Will not accept any takeout “i.e. McDonald’s, Fish & Chips, Weinerworld [sic], Chinese Etc.” Well, I always knew The Nuge didn’t like wieners … or the Chinese. BUT. He also requests Slim-Fast (Tropical Fruit flavored) and “MAN SIZED KLEENEX.” And all you tree-huggin’ hippies will appreciate that the Motor City Madman will not tolerate styrofoam or polystyrene containers ’cause “The 2002 Ted Nugent tour is very environmentally conscious.” Although I was a little dissapointed to find out that instead of killing his dinner, Nugent opts for a rotisserie chicken from Boston Market. Even The Nuge is going soft … a very man-sized Kleenex kinda soft, of course.

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Black Friday: Slayer vs. Metallica

Friday, December 26th, 2008 | musiX | 35 Comments

This sounds like a no-brainer: Slayer slays Metallica for its latter-day sins, and drags its lifeless corpse back to a dark cave with the rest of the sell-outs.

I always thought it would be interesting to set these two metal titans loose on each other. It’s been written about before, but done very half-assed, usually summed up in one over-simplified conclusion: Metallica are pussies and Slayer fucking rules. Well, not so fast, my fine feathered-haired friend …

First, a little background. There are some interesting parallels in the bands’ careers. Both formed in 1981 in Southern California (Metallica, of course, later relocated to the Bay Area), and drew their influence from British metal bands like Venom, Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. Both bands were given their first breaks by founder and owner of Metal Blade Records Brian Slagel, who put them on his Metal Massacre compilations (Metallica on Metal Massacre I, Slayer on III). Metallica and Slayer released their debut records in 1983—Kill ‘Em All and Show No Mercy, respectively. They are both considered part of the “Big Four of Thrash” along with Anthrax and Megadeth. Both bands have a median age of 44. In their respective 28-year careers, both bands have had similar output—Slayer has released 10 albums; Metallica, nine. Both have had records produced by Rick Rubin. The majority of their songs touch on war and death and insanity—with very metallic titles like “No Remorse,” “Criminally Insane,” “Disposable Heroes” and “Expendable Youth.” Guess who wrote which.

So why is Slayer still a critically lauded metal band that can do no wrong in the eyes of its crazed devotees, while Metallica has been relegated to “They were once great, but started sucking ass in the early ’90s” status? That’s easy. Because Metallica was once great, but started sucking ass in the early ’90s. Oh … then there was the whole Napster debacle. Um … and we got to watch in disbelief as the members underwent $40,000-a-week therapy sessions, thus emerging as raging primadonnas in 2004’s Some Kind of Monster. Right.

BUT. There’s always a but. Take Slayer and Metallica’s best records—arguably Reign In Blood and Master of Puppets, respectively—and there’s no contest. Don’t get me wrong, Reign In Blood is a great record that deserves all the accolades it receives, but Master of Puppets is a flawless and deadly combination of musicianship, anger, production, speed and, above all else, the songs are just better. Stand those records side by side and Metallica slays Slayer. Match up their second-best: Metallica’s … And Justice For All and Slayer’s Seasons In the Abyss, and Metallica emerges again. Debuts? Kill ‘Em All is a raw slab of punk rock … kills Show No Mercy dead.

Yes, Metallica cheesed out in the ’90s. In a big way. But let me say this: Dr. Dre was also involved in the Napster lawsuit, but hasn’t caught nearly as much shit as Lars Ulrich. And Load and ReLoad were torpid and mediocre hard-rock records with stagnant production. Then again, Slayer hasn’t changed one bit, essentially rewriting the same riff hundreds of times over, while adopting a pretty predictable insert serial killer/Nazi war criminal name here lyrical template. There’s something to be said for evolving—although in the world of metal, the theory of evolution is as absurd as Intelligent Design is in real life.

Now it’s almost 2009(?!), which means the members of Metallica and Slayer are ancient in metal years. Do both bands still bring it? Of-goddamn-course. Does that mean they’re good? Meh. Metallica released Death Magnetic this year, a return to its former self, and made an eerie video for “All Nightmare Long” about a Soviet experiment gone wrong. The speed and the eight-minute, multi-part songs are back, but it could never be as good as Master of Puppets or … And Justice For All. And Slayer is set to release an as-yet-to-be-titled album in 2009 (I’m sure the title will include one of the following words: “death,” “God,” “die” or “Christ”), and it will sound exactly like Reign In Blood and Seasons In the Abyss, which, in itself, is impressive. But why not just listen to Reign In Blood and Seasons In the Abyss?

Now if you’ve read this far, you a) still give two squirts about these bands, b) are waxing nostalgic on your awkward teenage years, or c) were just morbidly curious as to how this death match would end. Well, the end is here. And both bands are still standing, for better or worse. So how can we settle this? Well, the album title Kill ‘Em All sort of set the stage early on for Metallica (good thing they didn’t go with the original title, Metal Up Your Ass). Guess we’ll just have to see what the fun-lovin’ fellas in Slayer come up with next year. There. I just wrote 800 words about Metallica and Slayer, and it wasn’t half-assed … perhaps three-quarters-assed.

“Psychopathy Red” - Slayer (unreleased, from the forthcoming record)

Video for “All Nightmare Long” from Metallica’s Death Magnetic

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Black Friday: Ace is God … still

Friday, December 19th, 2008 | musiX, pdX | 2 Comments

I just finished up a year-end list for another publication, which included not only albums, but shows, books, movies–anything music-related. I had to check the archive to jog my memory, since I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday. Maybe the paint fumes coming from the apartment below are melting my brain … but it smells so good.

I stumbled upon a column I wrote about going to see original KISS guitarist Ace Frehley at a club in San Francisco back in March. I remember being reluctant to attend the show at first, but I eventually caved at the behest of my friend who is such a KISS freak, I think he actually sleeps in his Peter Criss boots. Adding to the fun was the fact that my friend and I would be meeting up with a guy who was known to find out where the rockers stay so that he could have them autograph photos and records with silver Sharpies.

Sure enough, he discovered that Ace was staying at The Prescott Hotel. We hung out in the lobby and the bar all afternoon, and when all was said and done, ended up with a few illegible Sharpied signatures. But, to hell with all that. The actual show was great. Ace played songs from his 1978 solo record, a few from his Frehley’s Comet days (for better or worse) and a handful of his KISS ditties including “Hard Times” and “Shock Me.” It sure shocked me.

But that’s not the only reason I’ve got Ace on my mind. I recently read the Portland Mercury music blog, where they’ve been running a series of posts under the heading of “Arctic Death: A Salute to the Winter Weather,” an homage to the recent snowfall here in the Pacific Northwest. The first entry was dedicated to Black Sabbath’s ode to frigidity, “Snowblind.” A great song, I thought, but my mind immediately went to Ace Frehley’s “Snow Blind” (two words), a rocking rock song that rocks, and includes Ace’s penchant for penning ridiculous lyrics: “I’m snow blind, I can’t see a thing / I’m snow blind, I don’t wanna sing.”

I don’t wanna sing? How about, “Don’t know what to bring.” Or “My hands start to sting.” No? Ah well, maybe if I inhale enough paint fumes I’ll come up with something better. The Space Ace is still working on new material, which should see the light of day around the same time KISS is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

“Snow Blind” - Ace Frehley

“Ozone” - Ace Frehley

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Black Friday: Iraq ‘n’ roll

Friday, December 5th, 2008 | fliX, musiX | 1 Comment

Heavy metal has always drawn a lot from the drearier things in life: frustration, anger, disenfranchisement … evil-doers. So I guess if there’s any place a metal scene should be thriving it would be Iraq. But even with Saddam Hussein out of power, playing metal can be tricky business in a Muslim country that’s been fracked by the U.S. government and insurgents.

I recently watched the documentary Heavy Metal in Baghdad, which follows “Iraq’s only heavy metal band” Acrassicauda (Latin for the black scorpion found in the deserts of Iraq) as they practice and attempt to play shows amidst the day-to-day chaos in Baghdad. Their practice space gets hit by a Scud missile, concerts are shut down and, like many Iraqis, the four members become refugees in Damascus, Syria. These guys have a right to be pissed, aside from the obvious reasons. They can’t even grow their hair out. And wearing a Ride the Lightning shirt can get you into trouble (I wonder if they have to turn their metal shirts inside out like teachers made kids do when I was in junior high).

But Acrassicauda, which formed in 2001, keeps the faith in the name of rock … because, well, that’s what metalheads do—and no dictatorship, or piddly U.S. invasion, or a few groups who like to blow people up are going to stop them. The members of Acrassicauda are currently living in Istanbul trying pull resources together to make a record, meanwhile the band may have already secured legend status.

Iraq’s only heavy metal band has paved the way for “Iraq’s only death metal band.” Dog Faced Corpse—named after an infamous murder in which militants stitched a dog’s head onto a decapitated body—has been performing for only a couple of months. Damn … Dog Faced Corpse sorta makes Acrassicauda sound like Iraq’s only choir boys.

Listen to Acrassicauda’s “Psycho” (not a Sonics cover) and “Massacre” at Last.fm.

Dog Faced Corpse performing “Consanguinity” in Baghdad, 10.25.08

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Black Friday? Meet Black Elk

Friday, November 28th, 2008 | musiX, pdX | No Comments

Today’s the day. The sheep awaken at 4 in the morning so that they can invade shopping malls across the nation to fulfill their cheap, consumeristic desires. Me? I thought it was only fitting to wake up at 7:09 a.m. on this Black Friday so that I could bring you the new weekly feature here at The Days of Lore called … “Black Friday.”

However, this new Friday tradition should not be confused with shopping, or historical disasters. TDoL’s Black Friday will examine the unholy underworld of metal. Why? Because I grew up in a town called Red Bluff listening to Helmet and Pantera and Slayer and Metallica and Iron Maiden and RATT. Ahem.

Some weeks Black Friday will be a sociological examination of metal, where I get my dainty hands dirty in a genre with a longstanding tradition of grown men wearing makeup and teasing their hair, drugs, sexism and satanism, or any other kind of “ism” you can think of. Metal can be goofy (see Manowar), frightening (e.g. Gorgoroth). And in most cases metal fans are, well, fanatic. Even if metal’s not your thing, it’ll at least be interesting.

Sometimes I will even point out bands that are actually good. Like this week …

What better way to kick off Black Friday than with Portland’s own Black Elk. The four-piece just released its second full-length Always a Six, Never a Nine, a record that harkens back to the sludgy, smart noise of early Amphetamine Reptile (Melvins, Chokebore, Helmet). Basically it’s metal without being too metally (look it up!)—loads of skull-slicing riffage, tempered with just enough weirdness and a vocalist who doesn’t sound like Cookie Monster’s cuz.

Black Elk was featured in a recent Willamette Week article on a metal club at a local high school—yes, we encourage headbanging in school. The band has a couple of dates lined up, including Jan. 10 at Someday Lounge. There are two benefit shows scheduled for Dec. 6 and 7 to help with medical expenses for guitarist Erik Trammell, who was hit while riding his bike to work in late September in our bike-friendly city. On that note … listen to these ditties, and get out there and pump your hard-earned dough back into the economy. It’s Black Friday!

[The Black Friday feature will appear every Friday in addition to the usual TDoL goodies.]

“She Pulled Machete” - Black Elk (Always a Six, Never a Nine)

“Elk Takes Night” - Black Elk (self-titled)

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