Van Halen

Black Friday: Jonah rocks

Friday, September 25th, 2009 | musiX | 1 Comment

You thought (hoped) Black Friday was dead and gone. HA! It just moved underground for a few weeks.

I found this at MetalSucks (which is where I get a lot of my weird and random metal goodies that don’t involve me writing about Slayer or KISS or Mastodon).

There’s this 4-year-old kid named Jonah who can smack the skins better than a lot of the drummers he’s imitating (I’m talking to you, Lars). The li’l guy apparently chooses all the songs he plays and even has his own Web site, fittingly titled Jonah Rocks. Jonah can be seen playing along to bands that have some of the best drummers of all time (Peart?! Moon?!), as well as a few metal masterpieces from Metallica and System Of a Down. Impressive. Makes me want a kid or two … wait, did I just say that out loud? Ahem … here are a few of my favorites:

Metallica - “Harvester of Sorrow”

System of a Down - “Chop Suey”

The Who - “Won’t Get Fooled Again”

KISS - “Rock and Roll All Nite”

Van Halen - “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love”

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Black Friday: Metalligrandaddy

Friday, February 13th, 2009 | musiX | 1 Comment

Sometimes I feel a little guilty because I still enjoy me some heavy metal. It’s not the center of my rock ‘n’ roll universe like it was when I was a pimple-faced teenager … or a pimple-faced 20-something for that matter, but dammit if a good dose of Slayer doesn’t still do me right … it’s good for the soul.

Owen Brown lives in the UK with his wife. His favorite band is Megadeth. In fact, he’s going to see the band this Saturday night in Birmingham. Owen Brown is 82. His nightly ritual doesn’t include warm milk and Glenn Miller, but rather heading out to the garden shed with a cup of tea and a platter of Sabbath … bloody Sabbath. And he owns about 70 records from classic heavies like Deep Purple, KISS and Judas Priest. Owen Brown’s grown children didn’t think his fascination with metal would last, and his great-grandchildren are usually telling him to turn it down. As you will see, he’s much cooler than his son Pedro.

Brown also likes Iron Maiden … and I think he may have been around when the iron maiden was being used to execute coin-forging lowlifes.

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Black Friday: Where have all the good times gone?

Friday, January 2nd, 2009 | musiX | No Comments

I am a fan of rock ‘n’ roll excess. Well, intrigued would be more accurate. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be in your 20s and in one of the biggest bands in the world, where anything goes and everything is within reach: women, booze, drugs … red snappers (or mud shark, depending on which version of the Zep tale you believe). Essentially, you could get away with murder (just ask Vince Neil) … or die and come back to life (just ask Nikki Sixx).

This excess, of course, often spilled over like a bottle of Axl’s Dom on to a band’s tour rider—the contract between promoter and band that contains all the specifics and requests, from lighting and sound specs right down to how many bottles of Perrier would be available to the band members … and at which temperature they should be kept.

After a decade of searching, The Smoking Gun finally nabbed the holy grail of tour riders. You know the one I’m talking about … the 53-page rider from Van Halen’s 1982 world tour in which the members famously (infamously?) requested that all brown M&Ms be removed. While it sounds like a sure sign of rock excess, the members of Van Halen insist it was their way of making sure EVERYTHING was being adhered to … miss a little detail like separating out the brown M&Ms, and more important things—like spotlight three not being aimed properly at David Lee Roth—could get overlooked.

Other notable items on the ‘82 rider:
One (1) case Budweiser beer (12 ounce cans)
Four (4) cases Schlitz Malt Liquor (16 ounce cans)
Three (3) fifths Jack Daniels Black Label bourbon
Two (2) fifths Stolychnia vodka
One (1) pint Southern Comfort
Two (2) bottles Blue Nun white wine
Herring in sour cream
One (1) tube KY Jelly

Mmm. The band’s rider was much tamer for the recent reunion tour. NO KY. No alcohol, save for Eddie Van Halen’s onstage cooler, which includes only “four (4) mini bottles of Gallo Twin Valley Cabernet Sauvignon (red & white label, red cap).” Apparently all the alcohol has been replaced with Red Bull—Mr. Roth will take 15 cans in his dressing room and six more onstage, please.

Dressing rooms are separate as well in 2008, with Diamond Dave’s to be located “as far away” from the others as possible (guess the reunion doesn’t necessarily mean their pals again). Oh yeah, “Mr. Roth practices martial arts in his dressing room, and in order to do this there can be no rugs or carpeting of any sort.” Now, if The Smoking Gun could get a hold of a Van Halen rider from 1998 so we could see what Gary Cherone demanded in his dressing room …

Another rocker’s rider surprised me. Ted Nugent. Will not accept any takeout “i.e. McDonald’s, Fish & Chips, Weinerworld [sic], Chinese Etc.” Well, I always knew The Nuge didn’t like wieners … or the Chinese. BUT. He also requests Slim-Fast (Tropical Fruit flavored) and “MAN SIZED KLEENEX.” And all you tree-huggin’ hippies will appreciate that the Motor City Madman will not tolerate styrofoam or polystyrene containers ’cause “The 2002 Ted Nugent tour is very environmentally conscious.” Although I was a little dissapointed to find out that instead of killing his dinner, Nugent opts for a rotisserie chicken from Boston Market. Even The Nuge is going soft … a very man-sized Kleenex kinda soft, of course.

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Hand jive

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 | musiX | No Comments

I just saw Wu-Tang Clan live for the first time. Not a minute went by where RZA or some Wu-Wear wearer in the audience didn’t flash the Wu-Tang “W” (place thumbs together and hold it high!). I recall seeing photos of people making the same hand sign at Weezer shows. It got me to thinking about all the different ham-fisted hand salutes …

Of course, there’s the classic devil horns, which originated … well, it’s been argued by scholars of metal as to who started it. Some say it was Ronnie James Dio. Gene Simmons claims it was He who first drew devil horns as illustrated on the cover of 1977’s Love Gun album … of course, according to Gene Simmons, he also started the concept of sex with groupies. And sex in general … oh, and breathing.

But there are others. Van Halen had one—sort of a variation of the devil horns where you form a diamond by placing your pointer fingers and thumbs together and formed what I guess was a “VH.” And then there’s the lovable li’l heart sign, shown left at an M.I.A. concert. If you go to a metal show, they’ll maybe raise a clenched fist or simply flip the classic I’m-pissed-at-the-world (i.e. my parents) middle finger.

I think next time I go to a rock show I’m going to drop the “OK” sign. It just says, “Hey, nice job.” Unless you’re in Brazil or Spain, where it means “asshole” or “cuckoldry.” I think Gene Simmons invented those, too.

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I get Women

Monday, November 10th, 2008 | interviewZ, musiX | No Comments

Calgary, Canada’s Women hides very well on the Internet (Google it … I triple-dog dare you), so I’ve found them for you. Little is known about these four lads, but here’s what I can tell you: Women formed less than a year ago and are already touring the world, playing dates with Swedish psych outfit Dungen and Montreal garage weirdos King Khan and BBQ Show. They love the Swell Maps (which makes me love Women). The band includes brothers Matthew and Patrick Flegel (bass and guitar, respectively; pictured in the middle). And they play some fine noise-pop captured in its grittiest, purest form to tape. I can hardly figure out women. But I do get Women.

At a time when ’60s psych-rock throwbacks are running rampant, Women are doing it without simply aping bands of yore. Their self-titled debut is fun and equally disturbing right down to the cover art. The band rolled through Portland with the aforementioned Dungen, and will make their way down the West Coast (including tonight at San Fran’s Bottom of the Hill) before heading across the pond for 14 dates.

Patrick Flegel took some time to talk about killing computers, shooting balls of fire at each other and sharing equipment with Van Halen.

TDoL: You realize that it’s almost impossible to find you on Google …
Patrick Flegel: Yes! We’re comfortable with that. Many people mention that and/or complain about it. I don’t think people know how to use the Internet.

Tell me about the shows with King Khan and BBQ Show.
Not only were the shows great, but we had the best time with those guys and their “crew.” We were laughing the whole time and occasionally shot balls of fire at each other. Mark [Sultan's] songs penetrate your mind and slice through your every thought like a flaming sword. They are great people and they know what they’re doing.

I’ve heard the music (can’t get enough of “Black Rice”), and I read you recorded the album on ghettoblasters and old tape machines. Do you fear technology?
Matt once set his elbow on fire and crushed this girl’s Mac Book. Our favorite recordings were done to tape so it just made sense to us. Recently we were lucky enough to record a track to 2-inch tape and use the same mixer that was used on “Hot for Teacher.”

There are elements of experimental and pop on the album; which comes more naturally? Which is easier to write?
They both come naturally. It depends on what kind of day one of us is having. Like if Chris is forced to deal with an insurance company he might proceed to record disgusting, sadistic ambient violence. Or if I’m too weak to end a relationship and I’ve been working a receiving job for 11 months I might turn to substance abuse and try to write an Eddie and Ernie song.

You’re getting attention from music rags and blogs from all over, and touring the States and Europe. What comes next?
More records and more touring. We want to put ourselves a position where we can get our recordings/live shows to sound the way we want them to. Support from promoters, bookers, show goers and record labels in the end will allow us to acquire the gear that we need to make things happen. We really appreciate it.

“Black Rice” - Women

“Group Transport Hall” - Women

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