[Note: The song "I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement" was playing while the following crime was being committed. For full effect, please click the play button below before reading.]
I was getting gas today—$1.89 a gallon in the quaint little town of Gresham—and as I sat there waiting for the attendant to fill ‘er up I noticed the truck parked in front of me. First I saw the Ruger sticker … no big deal, we all have the right to bear arms. I panned left, another sticker: “Palin 2012.” I threw up in my mouth, then panned further left. In the side rear-view mirror I could see the driver—a pink-faced, mustachioed man with a ball cap. He was looking off into the distance.
I looked down at my console. There so happened to be a black marker. I checked my surroundings. The attendant had gone off to help someone else. There was no one else around. And the man was still looking away. Calmly, casually, I grabbed the marker, opened my door and, slightly crouching, walked five feet to the rear of the truck. I acted quickly and bravely. With three adept strokes of my Magic Marker, “Palin” magically became “Stalin” and I was quickly back inside my vehicle.
[Note: The above act didn't actually take place. It did, however, run through my mind the entire time I sat there staring at that sticker ... and I was listening to the Ramones. Sub-note: I fully support people having their own varying political views. But a "Palin 2012" sticker reaches a whole different level of ridiculousness. Of course, this is coming from the grown man who just fantasized about vandalizing a Republican's truck.]
“I Don’t Wanna Go Down to the Basement” – The Ramones