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Isolated Incidents: Day…what day is it again?

My family and I continue to hunker down–like everyone is supposed to. Bartered beer for toilet paper with our friends/neighbors yesterday. Oregon Gov. Kate Brown finally announced a shelter in place order Monday, most likely as a response to the bozos that flooded small rural and beach towns over the weekend as their way of social distancing. We’re trying to do takeout once a week from local restaurants to help them weather this unprecedented storm. The fed and local governments better get those emergency stimulus packages passed before the natives get restless, and we have to deal with a whole new set of problems.

The Days of Lores.

Mostly, I want to say thank you to my mom for approaching her boss yesterday about her concerns about continuing work at the grocery store she’s been with for years. They happily laid her off so she can collect unemployment, and sent her off with a small party and a bunch of beer and toilet paper. Thank you, mom, for taking this seriously. Happy retirement. I love you. I’ll listen to some Billy Squier and drink a beer in your honor today.

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L-I-V-I-N

Isolated Incidents: Day ???

We’re very early into this thing, but I will say I’m impressed by the creativity people are showing in order to get through it. I’m hopeful some good will come of this. Isn’t that right, Jack?

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L-I-V-I-N

Isolated Incidents: Day 2

2019 was a lot cooler than 2020.

Or is it day 3? Anyway, Tuesday was a roller coaster, as I’m sure the days will continue to be. Before you know it it’s 9 o’clock at night, and you’re deciding between going to bed or having another cocktail(s), or perhaps…yes, cocktail it is.

I will say this–our family has been good about hanging out and being present (although I’m still working on fighting the urge to read the news, or scroll social media). We’re even implementing some of our son’s school activities (like journaling, sharing, and storytime) at home. I hope at the very least this time together will bring us closer. And I sincerely mean that. That said, I found out that our kid will be home from school for at least a month, and my wife, who’s a teacher, will be out until April 28. We’re going to fucking kill each other. And I’m sure I will be the first to go…I hope my family will have the decency to let me choose my fate.

I’m not panicking, but I do worry people still aren’t taking this seriously…mostly because I just read that as the virus continues to spread, fewer people (mostly those who think science and math are dumb) view it as a serious threat. Yes, true to form, Americans will not learn their lesson until someone close to them dies on a tower of Charmin Ultra Strong (only $38.88 for 24 rolls on eBay).

Others’ stupidity frightens me more than the pandemic steadily consuming our country. Get your shit together! Stay home and stress-drink like a responsible American! Think about it: To keep yourself and others safe, all you have to do is practice being a lazy American. For chrissakes we can’t even get that right.

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L-I-V-I-N

Isolated Incidents

Since we’re all (hopefully) practicing “social distancing” I thought I might try and do a semi-daily report from TDoL HQ. Maybe every day if it doesn’t become too monotonous, which I assume at some point it will. I’ll try and keep it light, but no promises. And certain posts might focus on specific things, rather than a blow-by-blow. Ugh…I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

I’m not gonna lie, today wore me down a little. A lot of people out of work (myself included), the fear that some businesses may not recover, a looming recession–it’s left me feeling a little scared. Even the interviews I had scheduled this week, small bright spots in all of this, were postponed (understandably) due to the effects of this pandemic.

I went shopping early in the day, and the Trader Joe’s in Clackamas wasn’t too insane–about the typical traffic for a weekday, and shelves were well-stocked, save for toilet paper and paper towels. To that I say, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” Through normal shopping trips we have plenty of TP. And if we run out and don’t have access to more, I will take my dump and jump in the shower and scrub my ass like a normal person. Although, look at my dumb ass: Later in the day I panic-purchased more alcohol after Oregon Gov. Kate Brown announced the closure of all bars and restaurants (except takeout orders) for four weeks. Priorities.

We made the best of the day, hanging out in the sun, playing with the kids and drinking beer–if we’re going to be isolated, we might as well make the best of it, right? My mother-in-law came over, which I advised against since she falls in the category of having a compromised immune system. I hope we don’t regret this decision.

I also hope in the coming weeks we have a clearer picture of what we’re dealing with…or we’re all going to run out of kids activities or, more importantly, booze. Hang in there, friends. Take care of each other. Hopefully a return to levity tomorrow.